Antigone
by Thanatos-Aire
Summary: Ficlet. Profanity, death. :: You know I have to do this. You know I'm going to. And you're gonna let me. Just promise me one thing, take me with you.


Antigone

Kannon no Jihi

8, January, 2005

Usual disclaimer. A spattering of potty words. A little dark and sad, but not really enough to warrant a warning… Implied death.

Anyway, Duo POV, set after EW with some divergence. Kudos to those who understand what's going on before the last line.

'_itoshii'_ means '_beloved'_ in Japanese

* * *

_once found it becomes lost once more_

_--unknown_

* * *

I'm sorry. 

This isn't how it should have been. Well, not really. But you know what I mean.

Still. I'm sorry.

I never expected this to happen, never thought I'd have to do this. As hypocritical as I might sound, love, I don't want to do this. But I guess I have to.

You're too dangerous. Stupid government's afraid of you. Not that I blame 'em it's just… you wouldn't hurt nobody, not now that the wars 're over.

I look up at you from the floor. The hangar's concrete ground is cool beneath my crossed legs, but the air around us is hot and humid.

_You stand there, silent, just watching me._

You know, don't you?

You know I have to do this. You know I'm going to.

And you're gonna let me.

'Cause there's truth in that political bullshit. 'Cause I wouldn't do it unless I had to. 'Cause you trust me -- 'cause I love you.

Do you love me back, _itoshii_? Do you really even care about me?

All those times, in and out of war… when you were there for me. When you protected me. Was that out of love? Or was it loyalty to the cause?

You stare down at me silent. Rigid, towering, but not frightening. Never, never frightening. I could never be afraid of you, love.

_I know you're dangerous, but you're beautiful too. Strong and deadly, perfect, how could I do this to you?_

_Those almost-human eyes don't waver. What is it, love? What's wrong?_

_Teh. What'm I thinking? Everything's wrong._

_Everything's wrong… I love you and that's wrong. You saved the world, and that's wrong. I have to kill you, and that… That…_

Fuck.

Say something, anything. Just one word, one movement, and I'll throw away this damned metal…

Don't. Don't give me that look. You know I would. You know…

You know I can't.

Fuck.

What if I just hide you away? Rummage around for an arm or something for proof and pretend I killed you…

I love you. But I gotta do this, _itoshii_.

I gotta.

Maybe… maybe it won't hurt? You never complained 'bout those burns and gashes during the war, never even faltered, like it never hurt. Maybe… maybe you'll go to heaven. You can tell Father I'm safe and thanks for all the fish.

_Snort_.

I know that's not funny, love. I was being sarcastic.

Fuck, I don't wanna do this…

I already almost lost you twice… I don't want to go through that again.

No, I know, I'm being selfish. I don't care -- I want you to stay.

What if this doesn't even work?

That self-destruction thing during the war couldn't take you away. OZ couldn't touch you. The sun itself couldn't steal you from me.

Maybe you'll just… not die.

Don't die, _itoshii_, please… I love you.

You were my only friend during the war. The other pilots just saw an idiotic American withinsanely long hair and a big mouth, but you… you knew more than that. You knew me.

Even if you don't love me back,

Maybe…

I reach up to touch your leg. Cold, never flinching, ever steeled for combat. I love you.

_I can hug your leg without getting hurt. I can pet you and sleep with you, sleep in you, murmur to your ever listening ears. You never complain. You never hurt me._

Well, 'cept for that one mission… But that was an accident, _ne_? You were hurt and I pushed you too far… I forgive you…

Forgive me?

… And not just for that, love… for everything.

I don't understand… You're not just a weapon. You're not just a tool.

_Not anymore._

_Maybe you started out as one, but you're more than that now._

My friend, my love. You're shelter and protection even when you're chaos and destruction.

I stand and you barely flinch. You know what I have to do now.

It's time, love.

Time to say goodbye… 

_I pull the metal lifetaker from my pocket and look down on it. Gleaming, malicious, I think it knows. I think it wants to take you._

I'm sorry, _itoshii_.

You know I have to.

But I love you.

I hold my hands out, one gripping the vile contraption and the other reaching out to touch you.

…_You're so beautiful…_

Just promise me one thing, love…

My finger starts to depress… 

… Take me with you…

_--Your eyes, I still believe they're real, look down at me quietly.--_

_--I know you'll take me with you.--_

_Then the trigger hits the connecter. Bright light burns into darkness, you fall forward, limp but heavy, and I fall with you, trapped underneath._

_Thank you._

I love you, 'Scythe.

* * *

owari 


End file.
